use me abundantly.

Last night I was talking to Seth about our trip to Nicaragua. It all started because when we were looking at our itinerary for the trip I realized that my name was spelt wrong and I was listed as a male. Fortunately, I'm not a male and probably couldn't pass as one if I wanted to because of my passport! ha. So after I worked on getting my itinerary fixed up, Seth and I started talking about our upcoming trip.

He wanted to know as much as I could tell him about what we'd be doing, where we'd be staying and all about my trip in 2005. I was presently shocked when I began rattling off to him exactly what I remember about Nicaragua. The airports, hotel, roads, town, people, village, casa de shelly, food, and all the ministry opportunities we had while we were there. It's crazy to think that the last time I went there was BEFORE I had any idea I'd be moving to Nevada and I was 12. It honestly doesn't seem that long ago. 

The Lord has worked in my life so much since my first mission trip to Nicaragua and honestly, I don't think I would have been the same when growing up without that reality check when I went out of the country. When I was in Nicaragua, even as a young girl, I saw poverty, I saw hunger, I saw real need. In America, we think that we need things but really, we have everything. I have learned so much about the way the Lord works in small ways through traveling to both Nicaragua and Uganda. This will only be my third mission trip ever and I know the Lord is going to teach me even more! 

God's hand is so sovereign, and even though seemingly unfair, He is just. When I think about the needs around the world and how many people are hungry and suffering, it makes me want to ask the Lord WHY!? Why do all these people suffer while I have so much extra. And when I ask him, I always hear the same soft reply... "you have abundance so that I can use you abundantly" 

How great our God is. How faithful, trusting, providing. He always has a plan, and I want to be used by him. 

Although I am excited for Nicaragua, I still know that He wants me to be used where I am right now as well. I don't have to be out of the country to serve and be a missionary. 

Lord, prepare me to be a missionary; Pure and holy, tried and true; With thanksgiving, I'll be a living missionary for you. 

Both near and far, I want to be used abundantly for his glory. I cannot wait to continue to see what He has in store!

Todo es acerca de JESUS -- It's all about JESUS

When I grow up...

Thinking about my future has always frightened me a bit. Whether it was because I never really saw  myself "fitting" into any career I had seen, or just the fact that becoming an adult meant being responsible... I just never understood it and never wanted to face it. I saw a quote the other day that was something like, "you're dream job doesn't exist until you create it" and it hit me. I know what I want to be now. Many people saw the post on my facebook stating that I got into law school. Here's a little peak into the thought process, journey and ride that I'm still on in the process of figuring out what I want to be, who I want to be, and where I want to be when I grow up...

You want to be a lawyer??? Why law school? Why now? How old are you again? And you want to do what? That's three more years of your life? Have you looked at the PRICE?! I thought we finished school early to be done??? Not keep going? Do you know how hard law school is? What's the LSAT? Where will you go? What if you don't get in? and I know I already said this but.... you want to be A LAWYER? 

These were just a few of the thoughts that went through my head when it hit me. Jaime, you are going to be a lawyer. 

Back to high school... 

God has been working on my life for some time now. I guess you could say my whole life up to this decision. I know that's normal, God working on people for their whole lives, but it was just so crazy when it hit me. God has been PLANNING... for me!!! Woah. 

If you know me, you know my personality. I am determined, head-strong, sometimes stubborn. I love justice, compassion, and seeing things get finished. I am a perfectionist and also a hard worker. I'm willing to do what it takes to get the grade but more importantly feel accomplished and be able to look at my work with a smile. 

The summer of 10th grade, I got asked to apply for a job. A job I didn't want, to earn money I didn't need, and to get experience that I didn't understand. I reluctantly agreed and began a journey of finding my work ethic in the most likely of places. I found myself feeling accomplished in this job and I found myself receiving compliments and promotions. By my senior year I was training other people to do my old job and I was helping with the more important tasks and also the legal work. Legal work scared me at first, but once I got the hang of it, I loved it. It made sense. I knew who was legally correct, I knew who was wrong. It was kind of like complex algebra (i love math too...) and there always was an answer. Hundreds of variables added up to one decision. One decision in my mind, but one ultimate decision in the judges'... 

At this point in my life, I wanted to become a teacher: teaching children and helping them reach their full potential. I wanted to be on the front lines and love on these kids even if their life at home wasn't great. I mentored in a 5th grade classroom and although I loved the teacher, I loved the students and I loved the school, I realized very quickly that a teaching job wasn't for me...

College life... 

I opted then to go to college as a nursing major, primarily because I still wanted to help children. Nurses make good money and I have always admired my mom for the wisdom she gives me whenever something goes wrong with my body. Again, I didn't like this major. It was boring and I hated the smell of the science hall. The only interesting part I found in this major was the massive amount of hours needed to get a simple A - something I never had experienced before. I dropped that major and then went on a search again for what I wanted to be. I took career tests, I met with counselors, I prayed, I talked to my parents, I talked to my friends, and later that year, I chose the major - Business: Marketing. I honestly still have no idea why. Something about it intrigued me, I guess. I was also excited because I could complete this degree, earning my bachelor's in only three years. 

I have loved my major and really, it has prepared me and also shown me what I don't want to do. I don't want to just be just another businesswoman. I don't want to earn a pay check doing something I dread. I want to make a difference, but how? I love marketing, but marketing products? No. Maybe I could market for a non-profit? But I wanted to be more involved directly, I don't just want to be the person behind the scenes, I want to see the action happen and help people directly. 

This summer...

After discussing all of this with my parents, we started to talk about graduate school. I decided I either wanted to be a human resource manager or a lawyer. Vastly different choices but those were what I chose. I had no idea what God had in store when I spoke those choices, or what would be revealed to me over the course of the next couple of months. 

In July, I went to Uganda and worked in an orphanage - Greenhouse Orphanage. This trip changed my life, heart and mind about what I wanted to be and WHO ultimately, I wanted to become. I helped the children live, I saw their hearts, I saw their bright futures, I experienced first hand the poverty that they face each and every day. I spoke with Kevin, the leader of Greenhouse and the father of the children who had been orphaned and street children. He told me stories of each of their lives, he explained the love he had for each of them even at a young age. He adopted his first child when he was fourteen! I was floored by his faith and by the work that he puts in everyday to help these children live, eat and thrive in their culture. I spoke with him about the process of adoption in Uganda, and then the process of trying to allow adoptions to the United States. The process was messy and longgggg... I was outraged. 

Why!!!!? Why are these children, and others like them, in orphanages when there are HOMES where they can be loved for and cared for? Why do they have to wait SO LONG? Why is it so expensive? Who is working on this? Who will help this process?

It was in that moment I realized, 

IT IS ME.... I WILL HELP THEM.

Now... 

The next months included studying many hours for the LSAT, fighting doubt about my future, fighting doubt that I could really do it. God was so patient with me in those times. Gently pushing me towards open doors on my path, gently encouraging me through my loved ones, gently showing me that he had already prepared the road... So with His help, I did it. I took the LSAT, I applied to my dream law school, I doubted I could get in, I tried to trust that God would provide financially, and I prayed bold prayers believing he would. After all, it's his plan! I'm just the person he is choosing to complete it. 

And then... on a very normal afternoon, I got in! And He has already been providing for me financially... 

I am so eager to see what the next year holds but more eager to see how the Lord uses me as a Child and Family Lawyer. I want to make a difference, I want to help the fatherless. I want to provide for those who can't help themselves. I want to defend them, I want to serve them, I want to show Christ to them and allow them to find hope in the midst of hopeless situations. 

I am still praying daily about this decision, praying for the rest of the finances, praying for the endurance to get through the next 3 and 1/2 years of treacherous studying. I am confident in God and in His power. After all, as I've already said, it's HIS plan. If IT'S ALL GOD, who am I to argue? 

Lord, I am ready. I am eager and I am awaiting your next steps in this plan. I am excited to see how you use me. I am excited to see how you show me more of you through this whole process. I cannot wait to see your patience on display and your plan come to fruition. You are so worthy of my praise and you are so worthy of my service. I commit all of this to you. I lay it directly in your hands. Use me as you wish and help me to serve your people. In Jesus' name, Amen. 

The Beginning of 2012

I know that people say this a lot but WOW life goes fast.
It's absolutely insane that it is already TWOTHOUSANDTWELVE.
I remember looking forward to my life in anticipation, where I'd go to college, who would my friends still be, who I'd date, what kind of a person I'd be becoming, what kind of person I would have been... Millions of thoughts ran through my head on a daily basis especially in high school. I always have been on the "fast track" in life, and if you know me at all you know that to be true. I have always tried to rush things, not really looking at the scenery of life as it passes but just trying to get through it and onto the next thing. Even in college, I've been in college for 1 and 1/2 years so far and I'm due to graduate in that exact amount of time. Spring 2013, the date is set. That amazes me because honestly, I still feel little, I still feel small in this world and the fact that in only 1 and 1/2 years I'll be on my own is extremely terrifying but exciting all at the same time. I know God has a ginormous plan and I pray each day that I can continue to stay apart of it.
This past year, in reflection, honestly was a whirlwind of emotions. Great times, sad times, confusing times, and completely clear moments to follow. I've learned a lot, both academically and about myself and I wouldn't trade those rough "learning moments" for anything. I really feel like I'm becoming the woman God wants me to be and I'm so thankful for all the wonderful people who have helped me along the way.
Although I know I'm on the right track, I KNOW I can be doing better and that disappoints me. My nature of trying to speed things up makes me try to have the quickest most effective days entirely, and that includes spending time with the Lord. I don't want to be living a mediocre life where I just kind of sit on the side lines waiting for God to use me but I want to be proactively seeking opportunities to serve Him and to make a difference in my community. I have seen how the service of my home church in Nevada as been transforming the valley my family lives in and I have been extremely inspired to live a life of service as well. I know that the Lord can use what little I have at school and I want to allow him to do so. So many times I fill my free time with pointless activities like facebooking and the dreaded time consumer: pinterest! (If you have one, you KNOW what I'm talking about ;)) But I want to honestly make a difference, to stop making lame excuses and actually LIVE.


2012, I'm ready for you. I'm ready for your challenges and I'm ready for your adventures. I have this confidence because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my God will help me through and that he will give me the strength and experience I need to serve Him. 


"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us... And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose... What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ...For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 8:17-18, 28, 31, 38-39

He is capable, we are not.

Four whole days away from Christmas, and I got home at 11pm PST last night. It's crazy how fast this year has flown by! I've heard all my life that as time goes on it just gets faster and faster. I never really experienced the truth of time traveling from one year to another until now.
I have made myself insanely busy this past year. That busyness definitely added to the accelerated speed of time.
I honestly have not had an actual break since graduating high school which was over a year an a half ago. Every time I have come home from college, I've been determined to work my butt off to earn more money so I could live fatter at school and go on random shopping outbursts. This break; however, I have decided that is is absolutely NECESSARY that I take a break and just enjoy myself, my family, and more importantly my gracious God who has gotten me through so many stresses in the past year.


Running the race of life is very hard and treacherous. And if you don't agree, apparently we aren't running the same race or you might just be lucky and got the easier course. 
When I read Paul's note to Timothy I feel as if Paul is giving us a pep talk to a team right before the rival football game. 
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." (2 Timothy 4:7-8)
We KNOW what our reward will be, we KNOW the race is hard, but we also KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt who wins. Jesus Wins. 
It amazes me how God has chosen to use such incapable people all throughout humanity. 
"Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Isaac was a daydreamer, Jacob was a liar, Leah was ugly, Joseph was abused, Moses had a stuttering problem, Gideon was afraid, Samson had long hair and was a womanizer, Rahab was a prostitute, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, David had an afair and was a murderer, Elijah was suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, Jonah ran from God, Naomi was a widow, Job went bankrupt, Peter denied Christ, the Disciples fell asleep while praying, Martha worried about everything, the Samaritan woman was divorced, Zaccheus was too small, Timothy had an ulcer, and LAZARUS WAS DEAD." 
Now thinking about that honestly, if God used a dead man, how much easier can he use me or you. I feel so blessed to know that there is a God who cares about me each and every second of the day or night. He does not need to rest, he does not take bathroom breaks, he simply is there for every one of his children. God does not promise this race or this journey will be easy - but he does promise to be there to help us every step of the way. 
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)




Enjoy your break, or at least enjoy Christmas - remembering the true reason for the season - and learn to rest in His presence even in the midst of busyness and stress. He is faithful to provide rest when we need it and he will always help us through our toughest situations in His way and in His timing. 
"For nothing is impossible with God!" (Luke 1:37)

Muy Complicado (if that's even how you spell it)

Complicated.
I think this is one word that describes life in general, constantly. 


There is always something going on in life that seems to be complicated, whether complication is found in a relationship, a friendship, a class at school, religious practices, or any other thing that frustrates you... There's always something we as humans don't understand and think about and try to figure out or fix.  


What God has really been showing me lately is that He never changes. He is constant. And although I could classify his mysterious ways in the same category as complicated, His nature is much more than that. There is always something new to learn about God and about His love for us but I think that is just the beginning of a beautiful journey that we take as believers in Christ. It is so easy to get wrapped up in what is going on in the world around me and forget the never changing Lord I serve. Although I face a million different circumstances in my life, I serve a God who will always be there when I need Him or ask for His help. He is and always should be my only true safe harbor. 


As Moses said to Israel in Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” This is the very nature of God which is never changing and faithful. 
It affirms this constant character in Psalm 145:13 when David says, "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made."


Relationships will fail. Families will fail. People will fail. Religion will fail. Knowledge will fail. We will even fail ourselves. But there is one person who will never fail us, He will never turn His back on us, God. Our Lord has redeemed us and has delivered us. Why would he pay such a huge price, sending His only son to die for us, if he was just going to leave? 


"One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the Lord about it. "Lord you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Be encouraged and renewed knowing that we serve a faithful and unchanging God who loves us. With his love we can accomplish anything in His will for us to do. 

Commit the complicated situations in your life to Him and you will see far better results than you could have ever imagined. 

Living Actively

Our family used to come to newport beach every summer and stay at a beach house with my grandparents and cousins until about 3 years ago. This is my immediate family's first trip back and Newport hasn't changed much. There are lots of drunk people and loud music playing all around the pier.
It's amazing to me how easy it is to fall into the temptations of this world and to want to live a life of partying. Sin always looks very enticing and it is arrogant of anyone to say he or she is above temptation. Paul said in his letter to the Roman church, "For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:18-19) In this passage Paul is not making an excuse for his sin but rather stating a fact about our existence on earth.
It is easy to sin.
And in addition to that, it is not easy to follow God's commandments and live a holy life.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:13-14)
Last night I got to listen to a group of people sharing the good news of Christ at the pier in the midst of all the partying going on just steps away from them. I could honestly feel the spiritual warfare for many of those people's attention. It is crazy to remember how real and active the forces of evil are in this world and how desperate Satan is to pull people away from the Lord's promises.
Share the good news that we have in Christ with those around you despite the circumstance. There is always room for Christ in your conversations. Be encouraged and know that you are never alone in the situation and that God is cheering you on!
It is so good to be challenged to share the gospel but also to live sacrificially. As a Christian, people watch the way you live so live actively!
"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one. We have confidence in the Lord that you are doing and will continue to do the things we command. May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." (2 Thessalonians 3:3-5)

egotistical living

Last night in campus church, an amazing point was brought up by David McKinney, which brought me unexpected conviction. It's not that I haven't been convicted often lately but it was abrupt. There was nothing going wrong in my life, nothing I seemingly needed to be working on, just going through life and allowing God to slowly mold me and shape me into the woman he wants me to continue becoming. 

David turned around at one point in the message and looked at the crowd, representing the crowd in Luke 14:25 and asked us, "Why are you following me?" This question was representing what Jesus was asking each person in that situation while they were walking on his journey, but for some reason this question struck me in a way that stung, abruptly and it was entirely unanticipated. 

While examining myself I’ve realized, the times are not often when I sit down and praising God just because He is God. I thank Him constantly for MY salvation, MY health, MY family, MY school, MY this, MY that… I even go to the extent of thanking Him for being Him, because I get benefit out of that. YES, God is majestic and I reap the benefits of His majesty due to the gift of salvation He has so GRACIOUSLY bestowed upon me, BUT that is entirely beside the point.

My quiet times, or priority times, with the Lord should not be based on ME, and how He can change ME and mold ME into who he wants ME to be at all, they should actually be entirely focused on HIM and allowing myself to be completely surrendered to HIM in all circumstances. Making myself nothing and HIM everything.

It always seems that when I’m in the midst of a tough situation I have the most AMAZING quiet times! It just so happens that when I talk my head off to God Almighty and he’s there to listen and whisper a few encouraging words my way, I continue along my little path feeling renewed and refreshed. But that is exactly the problem! My SAVIOR is NOT a chat room where I can just pour out my problems and get a solution… he desires so much more of me. There has been so much lost in this generation of “Jesus is my homeboy” and “God is my best friend” YES, Jesus is my best friend who I can confide anything in (mostly because he already knows everything, but that’s beside the point…) He is first and foremost my Savior and my Lord, the King of my life. He needs to be first in my life! Above myself, above my desires, my family, my friends… Life is so self-centered and I’m tired of living in that manner. It is time to listen to the conviction of my heart and live for the only One who matters most, the Lord of the Universe, and the Master of my soul.